10 Unwritten Rules Everyone in Iowa Knows
As a born-and-raised Iowan, I feel it's my duty to explain a few things about us to the rest of the country. We have more than a few quirks. We apologize to people who bump into us. We wave at strangers on the roads. We consider a 20-minute drive a perfectly reasonable excuse to pack snacks. Heck, some days we experience all four seasons before lunch and still find a way to enjoy the day.
To the rest of the country, Iowa and the Midwest are practically interchangeable. Say you're from Iowa, and people immediately picture cornfields, cows, friendly neighbors, and somebody named Earl who knows how to fix a tractor. To be fair... they're really not wrong.
However, there's more to being an Iowan than corn and questionable winter driving conditions. There are certain rules we all seem to follow, even though nobody remembers agreeing to them. And if you stay here long enough with us, they're going to rub off on you. These very Iowan traits have been passed down through generations, reinforced at county fairs, and refined by the same fires that produce the finest gas-station pizza.
So, on behalf of Iowa, allow me to explain 10 unwritten rules for living in the Hawkeye State. The rest of you, take notes.
1. The Two-Finger, Farmer, or Quick Wave Is Practically State Law
Driving down a gravel road? Passing a neighbor in a pickup? Give the little two-finger wave off the steering wheel. Guess what? You don't even have to know the person. It's simply an acknowledgment that you're both out here doing your best. Don't sleep on the farmer wave, it just makes everything seem a bit friendlier.
2. "Ope" Is a Complete Sentence
Bump into somebody at the grocery store? Ope. Almost spill your coffee? Ope. Accidentally walk directly into someone's path and perform an awkward little dance trying to get around them? Ope, sorry, go ahead, nope, you go. It's the Swiss Army knife of Midwestern vocabulary, and Iowans have mastered its use. Apparently, say "ope" and "you betcha" enough times, and the rest of the country assumes we're all from Minnesota. We're not, dontcha know? But we Iowans will politely apologize for the confusion anyway.
3. Iowa Has Two Seasons: Winter and Road Construction
You may think spring has arrived because the snow melted and you can finally see the pavement. Don't get comfortable. Somewhere, a road crew is already setting up orange barrels, closing a lane, and turning your normal commute into a scenic tour of three neighboring townships and single lane frustrations. The real question is will you reach your destination before the cones end?
4. The Weather Is Always a Conversation Starter
You can meet a complete stranger in Iowa and know absolutely nothing about them, but within 30 seconds you'll have discussed wind speed, humidity, the chance of storms, and whether this winter will be worse than the one in 2009. And if someone says, "Well, we sure needed the rain," just nod. There's never any real need to get into that debate, especially with a farmer.
5. Never Turn Down Sweet Corn
In fact, you're not allowed too. When it's Iowa sweet corn season, your regular grocery-store corn simply doesn't exist anymore. You'll buy a dozen ears when you only need four. Someone will give you another dozen. Then a neighbor will show up with a grocery bag full of it. For a few glorious weeks, every meal is a corn-based event. Trust me, nobody is complaining.
6. A Tornado Siren? Code for Porch Sitting
Nothing says Iowa like hearing tornado sirens and seeing half the neighborhood wander outside to investigate the sky. Somebody's on the porch, somebody's in the driveway or street, and everybody's got the radar in hand to see what's going on. We may not agree on the storm, but we'll all stand around staring at the same suspicious-looking clouds. The unwritten rule: respect the weather, have a plan, and don't rely on your neighbor's prediction that the storm "looks like it's going north."
7. Gravel Roads? You Mean Car Seasoning!
Sure you pay taxes for the roads, but the moment you turn onto a gravel road, just remember one thing: the farmer owns it. At least, that's how it feels when you meet a combine taking up the entire width of it. Go ahead and pull over. You're on his schedule now. Meanwhile, your car is getting a fresh coat of classic Iowa seasoning, your windshield is collecting a fine layer of dust, and your freshly washed vehicle is officially a thing of the past. Around here, a clean car on a gravel road is less a point of pride and more a countdown.
8. Casey's Pizza Is a Legitimate Food Group
Some people have strong opinions about fine dining. Iowans have strong opinions about gas-station pizza. Specifically, Casey's. Breakfast pizza, taco pizza, or a classic pepperoni. I know people who will drive past three perfectly good restaurants to get a slice of Casey's Pizza. Is it the finest cuisine in the world? For those of us raised on it after long nights in the field... Yes. Yes it is.
9. The Real Melting Pot of America: Iowa Festivals
Sweet corn? Absolutely. RAGBRAI? Get your bike ready. A county fair? Better bring cash and an appetite. Are you part Irish, German, Dutch, or Czech? Trust me there's a celebration to be had! Iowa is a little bit like America's potluck dinner: everybody brought something from their heritage, and somehow it all ended up on the same table, and that's my kind of feast! You might not know why the town is celebrating or what exactly you're eating, but you're probably going to be there, along with the rest of the town.
10. The Midwest Goodbye Takes Longer Than the Visit
You said you'd stop by for five minutes. Two hours later, you've discussed everything you can think of, a cousin's new job, a neighbor's knee surgery, and whether the Hawkeyes or Cyclones are going to have a good season. You've used your "ope." You've stretched and yawned. You've even slapped your knee and given the classic, "Well..." Now you're just standing in the doorway saying goodbye, for another 30 minutes! No one is moving, this will last forever! You might make it to your car before dark. No promises, we're Iowans after all. Well, maybe just one more...
Did I Miss One?
These are just 10 of the unwritten rules for Iowa life, and we're sure every town has a few of its own. What would you add to the list? Whether you're a lifelong Iowan or just been here for too long, remember, don't sleep on the ope, watch for deer, and never underestimate a good tenderloin. Oh, and don't forget to wave back; that's how we know you're one of us.
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