The hot topic du jour in the world of pop culture is Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, a blockbuster behemoth with terrible reviews, a devoted fanbase, and all the buzz in the world. Everyone, proponent and detractor alike, has got their own jokes about the new smash, with some taking aim at the weird and unwieldy title (“Batman v Superman v Ecks v Sever v Alien v Predator v Freddy v Jason v Kramer v Kramer...”) and others simply positing the word “Martha...” as a joke unto itself. The late night personalities are now getting on the “good-natured making fun of Batman v Superman” wave, and Jimmy Kimmel’s schtick has the added benefit of a good post-production editing team.

Last night, ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel Live! ran a humorous trailer mashup between Batman v Superman and the upcoming Bridget Jones’s Baby, placing the two superheroes in the roles of Renee Zellweger’s dueling suitors portrayed by Colin Firth and Patrick Dempsey. Everyone’s favorite incurable romantic has been knocked up — but by whom? Does she carry the seed of brooding, sexy playboy Bruce Wayne, or do the alien spawn of Clark Kent gestate within her fertile human womb?

Some of the bits of footage that Kimmel’s people have spliced together really do work perfectly (particularly the bit implying that Bridget Jones may have had a threeway with Batman and Superman, which is officially a movie I want to see more than Batman v Superman and Bridget Jones’s Baby) but this could never be, as it would leave no mystery as to the child’s parentage. If Superman really did get down to business with Bridget Jones, there’s no way she’d survive the experience. According to Kevin Smith, Superman’s mega-seed would shoot right through her like bullets. Sex with Kal-El: a ride few women can survive.

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