Iowa, It’s Time to Get Winter Weather Ready!

Welcome to Iowa, where the winters are as unforgiving as the ice on my windshield each morning... man, it sure would be nice to have a garage right about now. Anyway, it’s time to bundle up, batten down the hatches, and make sure your home —and your sanity — are ready for the deep freeze, which is coming sooner rather than later. So let me break down the essentials to get done now, sprinkled with just the right amount of frost-bitten humor.

1. Flipping the Script: Ceiling Fans

Clockwise or Get Clocked by the Cold: Ceiling fans aren’t just for summer. In the winter, switching your fan to rotate clockwise at a low speed pulls cool air up, pushing the warm air that naturally rises back down. This can help distribute heat more evenly, making your home feel warmer without cranking up the thermostat.

2. Furnace Fables: The Tale of the Filter

Change Your Filter, Not Your Furnace: A clean furnace filter improves airflow and efficiency, which can save on heating costs. Neglecting this can force your furnace to work harder, leading to higher bills and potentially costly repairs. Regular maintenance ensures it’s ready to handle Iowa’s brutal winter temperatures. Remember your filter shouldn't look like the lint trap on your dryer... speaking of which.

3. Lint Rollers Won’t Save You: Dryer Vent Edition

Lint Trap, Not Fire Trap: Dryer vents can become clogged with lint — especially if you're bad about cleaning out your lint filter — which is highly flammable. With thicker winter clothes shedding more lint, it’s crucial to clean the vents regularly. This not only prevents fires but also ensures your dryer runs efficiently, saving energy and reducing drying time.

4. Seal the Deal: Windows and Doors

Plastic: It’s Fantastic: Drafty windows and doors let cold air sneak in, making your heating system work overtime. By sealing windows with plastic film and using draft stoppers under doors, you can keep the cold out and the warmth in, reducing energy waste and lowering heating costs.

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5. Hose Be Gone

Unhook or Unhappy: Leaving hoses connected during a freeze can cause water in the pipes to expand and burst, leading to flooding and significant damage. Unhooking hoses and draining spigots prevent this icy disaster and keeps your basement dry. Nothing is worse than a flooded home in the middle of winter.

6. Shovel Savvy: The Iowa Winter Workout

Shovel Smarter, Not Harder: Snow shoveling is a necessary evil in Iowa winters, but the right shovel can make all the difference. Bent-handle shovels reduce strain on your back, making the task less painful and more manageable, especially after repeated snowfalls.

7. Snowblower Showdown

Blow Your Mind, Not Your Back: Add this one to my list of 'I wish.' For heavy snowfalls, a snowblower is a game-changer. It saves time and physical effort, especially when dealing with Iowa’s frequent and substantial snow. Choosing a model that’s easy to start and maneuver ensures you can clear your driveway without breaking a sweat—or your back. Trust me, since I started shoveling snow at around age 7 or 8, and continue to this day, it has only gotten less fun and more difficult.

8. Winter Wardrobe Wonders: Kid Edition

Layers of Love: Dressing children in layers traps heat and keeps them warm during outdoor play, waiting for the school bus, or walking to and from home. Kids lose heat faster than adults, so bundling them up helps prevent hypothermia and keeps them comfortable in frigid weather. And for you adults, it's always a good idea to drop an extra pair of gloves and a stocking cap into the trunk of your vehicle, just in case.

9. Thermostat Tactics

The Great Thermostat Debate: Setting your thermostat to 68°F can significantly reduce heating costs while still keeping your home comfortable. Each degree lower can save up to 3% on your heating bill. Wearing extra layers inside can keep you cozy without the financial chill.

10. Cutting Costs Without Cutting Off Toes

Energy Efficiency 101: Heavy curtains, weather stripping, and programmable thermostats help maintain indoor temperature without over-relying on your heating system. These small investments can make a big difference in reducing energy consumption and keeping your home warm without sky-high bills.

Embracing Iowa winter is like getting a surprise snowball to the face—it’s best to prepare for the burn and be able to laugh it off. Follow these tips, and you’ll be snug as a bug in a rug, even when the thermometer, and the meteorologist, says otherwise.